This is not a topic I thought I would write about, but for days now I have felt the Lord putting this on my heart. I feel as though my blogs have shown the bright side of being a missionary with some slight obstacles that I have had to overcome. For example, the physically tiring hike to the villages or the feelings of being homesick. But, as we prepared to come to Romania, I felt as though the Lord was telling me to prepare for war.

Being in Romania has brought the reality of what it means to be a missionary. When we arrived, our ministry host shared some statistics with us. There are .5% Christians in the city that we are currently in, along with that, witchcraft is freely practiced here and that includes the Orthodox Churches as well. I was not shocked at all. I was ready for the darkness that we would experience. The Lord told me in Guatemala that Romania was going to be spiritually dark and that I needed to build my foundation in order to be ready. As a missionary, the battle is 100x more real. The spiritual battle began as soon as we started doing ministry work and we were able to see the enemy attempting to stop us several ways.

Spiritual warfare became so real to me in the first weeks of being in Romania. From people rejecting us on the streets when we would evangelize. Or the lack of sleep due to dreams. Even the sun not being out for the majority of the time we have been here. Every day seemed like a fighting battleground. For me personally, spiritual warfare looked like not getting good sleep, having a slight identity crisis, sin trying to creep in like frustration/irritation. There were mornings that I would walk into the church and a headache would just begin to pound all day until I would walk back into my room. For a week straight I would wake up with so much irritation and just walked in that feeling the whole time. I even began to wonder who I was and why the Lord called me to missions. Several of my squadmates also dealt with different spiritual warfare, but it seemed as though the whole house was battling.

Not only did the spiritual battle become so real to me, but so did the physical battle here on earth. Our ministry includes delivering food to Ukrainian refugees and our Beauty for Ashes events centered around Ukrainian women. During our event, I sat next to a wonderful woman and we soon began to make small talk. Then the conversation turned as she began to tell me about her home back in Ukraine. With tears in her eyes, she told me that her city was torn down and in detail told me how her family was able to escape. Another woman sat down next to us and shared her story. Something that she said that has stuck to me was, "It is one thing to see the war on the news or the internet, but it is another to look at your window and see these weapons and soldiers."

With these women sitting next to me, sharing their stories, telling me how their families are scattered all over, and how their homes are destroyed, I felt the physical war become real. I saw the evil that the enemy tries to place on earth. The brokeness and division that occurs from this evil. And my heart broke, it broke thinking of countless families suffering because of this war. My heart broke for the friendships I have made with the women and youth from Ukraine. For days I have been praying for peace.

The spiritual and physical battle have been tough to overcome, but that is the reality of being a missionary. I have come to terms that I am the enemies target and will be as long as I continue to share the Gospel. But, I truly walk in the authority that the Lord has given me and walk in freedom with the Lord. Our squad has been very intentional with combatting these spiritual attacks by worshipping every morning, praying every night, and doing a prayer night where people sign up for one hour prayer slots throughout the entire night. It has been so amazing to see how the Lord moves in these dark moments and the Holy Spirit walks with us as we go out to do ministry. But, the spiritual war is real. I have experienced it first hand and want to be honest about it. The enemy does not want a group of 29 missionaries to spread the Gospel, but the Lord has already won the victory. The physical battle is real, so please be praying fiercely for Ukraine. Pray for peace, for restoration, for unity. Our God has already won!